Physical Therapy Session Brings Good News!

Physical Therapy finished! The PT said he was impressed with the progress. Especially with the IT band stretch which I could barely do weeks prior. He used a couple other types of IT band stretches after yesterdays training and after an hour of lactic acid buildup (that's no joke let me tell you)again, I am now feeling great! YAY for progress!

Surpassing Milestones And Overcoming My Own Standards

I don't even know where to start. Maybe I'll start with the fact that I finished. I finished something I never imagined I could do. I left a whole lot of baggage physically and emotionally on the course today. I broke down twice, prayed a whole lot, met new friends and bonded with the two most amazing triathletes who helped me and encouraged me from the beginning. 

I made it through a little less than half a mile swimming toward rocky waves and managed not to be the last one out. Transition was slower than I would have liked but I got to the bike and finished 6 miles instead of my hoped-for 12. I ran a 15 minute mile and finished with 2 miles of the 3 miles I'll have to go which is MORE than I thought I could do even yesterday.

I cried twice because of the mental determination I had and also because of the debilitating fears I hope to overcome. The ones that have led me here on this journey. Of lost hopes and dreams of a child I held and had to let go, of blame and anger which led to more fear and anger. It all just came to a standstill on the road running. Overcoming standards. MY standards! Pushing past the emotional pain which I hold more than any physical scars I could endure.

Still through it all, I had my friends...new and old, by my side while my husband and Little Bear cheered me on, left and cheered me through the door again.

Guilt, shame, fear, failure, lost dreams. They are not what builds the strength to overcome victoriously! God holds no prison with which to keep us. Rather, He builds us up with a new sense of HOPE. With His strength we gain courage. Setting the baggage aside is giving me a whole new life. One that I hope will flourish and become a new way of life for my marriage and our daughter.

Today has been a hard day physically and emotionally, but I did it! I conquered the unknown, left the emotional pain behind and am hopeful for a better future.

Thank you to my coach Jamie for believing in me and opening your heart and expertise to someone you never met that day you saw my post. Thank you to Lance and his wife for what you've done for me, Farah from Syracuse Woman's Magazine and her mom for the blessing you've been, for Kellie and Joslyn for being present with me today...for pushing me and encouraging me. For redirecting my fears and anxieties. Thank you to the slew of athletes who have blessed my life with your friendships, your wisdom and resources. Bless you all for the kind hearts you have!

To the family who supports me everyday and to my friend Patti for praying with me and for talking with me when all I wanted to do was die from the heartache and pain. For standing on Gods word for our Little Bear who is our rainbow baby. To Deanna who shares a similar heartache. I can't imagine my life without you. This journey would have been SO DIFFERENT. I wouldn't have met any of these people without Gods hand over our friendship. 

Finally to the husband Doug with whom God hand-picked to be mine. Nobody would have stood the obstacles we've had together. I'm not even sure anyone would have stuck with me for the attitudes I've had. You love me. ALL of me! You are loving, thoughtful, compassionate, patient, kind, gentle, encouraging and supportive. You allow me this time so I can be who God made me to be. So I can be there for the two of you! Thank you so much!

It sounds like an award right now, I'm just on an emotional high. A year ago, I had my will typed up and thought I was heading toward death. Today I'm feeling great and facing with the things I couldn't change so that I could LIVE without fear.

A Frustration With Medical Care.

Hm, I used to get into my endocrinologist with no problems at all when I needed him. Then his office became a practice which has taken in more specialists, PCP'S and ENT Dr.'s.  It was then that they lost personal contact with me as their patient. I started feeling like I was cattle going in to be marked and less like a human being they cared about.

The front desk started asking people what the problem was before they'd patch them into the Dr.'s or their nurses and my scripts were supposed to be easier going "paperless" because they were phoning them in only to find they hadn't and it would take several more tries to get my medications.

Now that my weight is going down, my blood sugars are starting to go down DRASTICALLY in what almost seems like overnight.  I called the diabetic educator who has been AMAZING as all the changes started taking place, and she reduced my insulin over half since Monday.  She's said my body is starting to use it's own insulin instead of needing countless amounts pushed in (any leftover stores as fat in the body by the way). Insulin Resistance is pretty much almost gone.

Today I called her to follow up, and during workouts because I'm still having lows in between will be cut in half yet again. She said she would see me at my appointment with her at the end of May.

I know I can call her and get an emergency appointment, but there is NO WAY I'm going to make it to the end of may when my numbers are 115 pretty much across the board AFTER meals.  I've had 65's twice tonight which really put me close to fainting spells.

Luckily I have a husband who is an RN and we've identified that I need to eat MORE.  I'm barely keeping my numbers at 115 and this is after a HUGE portion of food on my plate AND a handful of cashews with vegan chocolate chips.  I'm REALLY full!

Luckily I have an appointment with my new PCP I found several months ago that has been personally working with me. My labs are in (though I highly doubt the past two weeks really count as a 3 month average yet) and I get the results.

If the low's continue to come, I'm going to have him deal with everything and call it a day. The downside to that is even though I'll be on oral meds, we're going to have to find the right dosage and that could take a while. I don't deal well with some of the side-effects.   All these lows are not only making me weak but VERY emotional.

Disappointments Happen, But You MUST Listen To Your Body!

A disappointing training is one that never happened.  ((sigh)) 

As I wait for the team of Dr.'s to change things, I had to recover from the last 3 days worth of lows and heart palpitations from what I'm guessing is thyroid medication that needs to be lowered. 

I'm a numbers person however, and I have in my head a time I'd like to reach for my ride in the race in August. I don't want just the numbers but the quality. It means I need to be consistent on the bike and these setbacks make me pretty frustrated and emotional. Not to mention that my coach, husband, and daughter have put a lot of time and support in along with me. Nobody is pressuring me, but I certainly feel the need to do my absolute best. Not just for myself, but all those who have put their love, support and resources into helping me.

I see changes in my body as well as in my overall health, I just want to be sure I keep the right pace.

Exercising With Restrictions And Added Weight

The last thing I should ever do is google ailments. lol I left the orthopedic surgeon feeling good. I left the Physical therapist wondering if I'll need a knee replacement for Patella Alta. He made Chondramalsia sound like it was serious stuff but it's a pretty diverse word and an issue that is quite common. Especially for people who are overweight. 

We're stretching and strengthening muscles to build up my knees. While Jamie gets me ready with the pool, aqua running and biking.

Today I did a 4 mile power walk with Leslie Sansone's "Walk Away The Pounds".

If you have exercise restrictions or need to start somewhere, Leslie's 1,2,3,4 or 5 mile workouts are GREAT for rainy or wintery days. They're pretty low impact, work with all levels and create a great sweat.

I did the 4 mile just under and hour with a 20 minute stretch. I feel like I got my exercise in and I know it's burning calories. ESPECIALLY using new muscles as well as the light resistance from the bands.

I encourage you to get out there and start somewhere. Even with restrictions exercise can still be done to aid in weight loss in conjunction with a healthy diet.

A Lot To Be Grateful For!

I stepped out of my room this morning to find my sweet husband making a vegetable lentil soup that smelled AMAZING. Stepped on the scale to find I'm 2 lbs away from having lost 30 lbs then we went to the Y so I could get my swim lesson in. I had to stop for a moment just to take in how well I'm coming along even with a sprained ankle and how fun it is to have my husband and our daughter along for the ride. I jumped out of the pool and into the sauna to relax a bit and then enjoyed the beautiful sunny ride home where we all had the delicious soup that Doug made.

It's been a very good day indeed! Thank you Lord. 

Inch By Inch

Pretty easy training on the computrainer today. I managed to do 9 miles on the bike in under an hour with a total of 10 miles straight and flat. My coach managed to tell me that it was the goal he had hoped for once I actually got there. I pushed the last few miles a little bit but I'm seeing pretty positive improvement each time. 

On a final note, I walked out of the place and twisted my ankle. I then proceeded to walk like a cool cat to the car when I let out a pretty loud OUCH! Guess who's icing her ankle along with her knees?! Good grief I'm accident/illness prone this year. Hahahaha

Finally Some Great News On What's Been An Uphill Battle. Hooray!

We've just come back from Syracuse Orthopedics where I have to give props to Dr. Battaglia who also is quite impressed with my coach Jamie Campbell. 

I got great news and only a small obstacle instead of a big one. It turns out I have some pretty bad inflammation behind both knees. He was pretty impressed with how far I've come and how much pain I pushed through. 

I got a cortisone shot (I feel like a real athlete now), a MONTHS worth of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory to help me get ahead of the pain and physical therapy to help me rebuild my knees to optimal standards.

I can ride for the most part but as far as running goes I'm back to just aqua jogging until my knees get a little bit stronger.

Before he left he said that my coach has been right on with using aqua jogging and he was pretty impressed with the fact that he cared more about overall health than just getting me to the finish line. Which really says a lot about my coach. He's always said he's not doing this just to help me lose the weight. It's a holistic approach to overall wellness that will not just help me lose weight but KEEP it off with lifestyle change. Thanks Jamie!

Finally, before I left the Dr. said "keep up the good work kiddo" for every 10 lbs you lose, your knees get more longevity of use to keep them healthy (I hope I said it right). He said he was proud of me for accomplishing what I set out to do.

Today is the first day I feel CONFIDENT that I will reach my goals. I was concerned about all the obstacles. This latest one is a minor obstacle and I can't WAIT to build these knees to reach a new type of potential that will change the rest of my and my families lives forever. Amazing!

Fighting Through The Challenging Weeks. I WON'T give up!

The past couple of weeks have been challenging at the least. The muscles and tendons in my legs are feeling quite painful.  My coach says the more we get into training the harder it may be for these muscles for right now. It's because my legs have just never used all these muscles.

I had to stop running on the treadmill and now I'm doing Aqua running. I haven't taken pictures because of privacy for the other patrons but I must admit that it's a first for me. I wouldn't ordinarily be caught alive in a bathing suit in front of people, let alone those who are thin.  It's for my health so I sucked it up and got in the darn pool!

THIS week, I started feeling better with a little rest to my legs BUT I have a toddler and things need to get done in my home.  I am noticing the cold weather affecting the pain too. Not really a HUGE pain but enough to know its my muscles and tendons screaming for mercy because they don't like being stretched.   They're just stiff muscles.  Who'd think it would be this challenging?!

Add to that our daughter is in the early stages of her potty training and has gotten MUCH more energetic lately and you have one tired momma trying to balance daily chores, a toddler, training and mental health and well-being.

This week I'm only getting 3 days of training.  I'm finding I HAVE to have a little rest both mentally and physically.

Oh how I wish we could afford a vacation. I'd do anything for a nice Disney Vacay. We haven't been able to afford a vacation since our honeymoon in 01'.  Being a stay-at-home mom, I tell people we give up luxuries so I can be at home to care for my husband and daughter.   I wouldn't give it up for the world.

With that said, we'll just make do and make our backyard a nice getaway. I'm hoping to get a bike for Doug soon so we can start incorporating exercise together as a family. THIS is why I'm working so hard!  Jamie (my coach) says this is usually where people quit because the work is hard. Not even a chance!

I'm not going to quit. I'm already feeling better than I have a year ago. Yes, I have aches and pains. Yes, I'm tired, and slightly overwhelmed at times.  This is NOT the time to quit.  20 lbs down and I'm planning to lose 43 more pounds by fall. I'm also planning to run that triathlon and get off my insulin.

I have an appointment with my endocrinologist. I'm dreading it. I LOATHE going to this Dr. but I'm excited to show him a loss and say, BOOM! I'm doing what you've said I couldn't do buddy. Your not stopping me and I'll be back come fall less than I am now, having gone through a triathlon and ready to hand back my insulin pump.

I'll document what happens on Friday.