It's Happening!

Iron Girl Syracuse

I cannot believe how close we are. I'm excited and freaked out at the same time. I'm REALLY excited!

Iron Girl Syracuse

Using The Side Stroke

I am NOT confident with the swim part of the triathlon. The only time I've ever swam has been on vacation. Nothing to save my life and nothing more than a nice breezy vacation kind of stroke. The last swim/bike/run training I had two weeks ago, it was AGAINST the current. Everything I learned in swim class at the YMCA was null and void in the open water swim against the current.

Today I'm not sure what the water will be like until I get in. What I noticed last time is that I did not like my face in the filthy water with my eyes open. I didn't care that I had my goggles on. The water has been known to have bacteria in it. I also had a tough time measuring where the buoy was when my face was in the water. How exactly can you tell?!

To add to the problem. I put anti fog on my goggles and instead of washing with water and letting them dry, I used my hands and a towel and dried the anti fog off. I couldn't see.  It was AWFUL!  THIS is the time to learn what the mistakes are so I can correct them before race day.

What one of the assistant coaches thought, was that it would be better for me to learn the side stroke in these conditions. I'm going to try it today and see if it will make me faster, more accurate to the buoy and back so that it doesn't mess with my bike time and my run time. I NEED to be faster.

A Muggy But Overall Successful Ride

60 laps (20 miles) on the bike today. No brick thank God Almighty! Here's how it felt. Muggy, REALLY muggy, A gust of flipping wind to make it harder. Just when I kept getting to the reach of another lap, a sweet older man left his sprinkler on JUST out of reach while saying, "you know 3 laps is a mile right?". I laughed a little when I told him it didn't matter because I had to get 60 laps in. He told me before I left he didn't want to get me wet. Hahaha Little did he know I was dying. Pavlov's Dog seems to ring a bell at that moment.

Still, I can't even BEGIN to comprehend what the athletes went through yesterday in the heat when it was hard enough with my 60 laps. I'm EXHAUSTED!

My coach makes it look like a dip in the pool, a short bike ride up a hill and a stroll through the park. I had respect for him before, but a whole lot more now that I've seen first hand how EXTREME the conditions were. These people pay big bucks to endure pain! Hahaha

IronMan 70.3 Spectating

What an AMAZING experience! Congratulations to all the Iron Men & Women. Thank you for the honor to cheer you on!

What an AMAZING experience! Congratulations t

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Physical Therapy Session Brings Good News!

Physical Therapy finished! The PT said he was impressed with the progress. Especially with the IT band stretch which I could barely do weeks prior. He used a couple other types of IT band stretches after yesterdays training and after an hour of lactic acid buildup (that's no joke let me tell you)again, I am now feeling great! YAY for progress!

Surpassing Milestones And Overcoming My Own Standards

I don't even know where to start. Maybe I'll start with the fact that I finished. I finished something I never imagined I could do. I left a whole lot of baggage physically and emotionally on the course today. I broke down twice, prayed a whole lot, met new friends and bonded with the two most amazing triathletes who helped me and encouraged me from the beginning. 

I made it through a little less than half a mile swimming toward rocky waves and managed not to be the last one out. Transition was slower than I would have liked but I got to the bike and finished 6 miles instead of my hoped-for 12. I ran a 15 minute mile and finished with 2 miles of the 3 miles I'll have to go which is MORE than I thought I could do even yesterday.

I cried twice because of the mental determination I had and also because of the debilitating fears I hope to overcome. The ones that have led me here on this journey. Of lost hopes and dreams of a child I held and had to let go, of blame and anger which led to more fear and anger. It all just came to a standstill on the road running. Overcoming standards. MY standards! Pushing past the emotional pain which I hold more than any physical scars I could endure.

Still through it all, I had my friends...new and old, by my side while my husband and Little Bear cheered me on, left and cheered me through the door again.

Guilt, shame, fear, failure, lost dreams. They are not what builds the strength to overcome victoriously! God holds no prison with which to keep us. Rather, He builds us up with a new sense of HOPE. With His strength we gain courage. Setting the baggage aside is giving me a whole new life. One that I hope will flourish and become a new way of life for my marriage and our daughter.

Today has been a hard day physically and emotionally, but I did it! I conquered the unknown, left the emotional pain behind and am hopeful for a better future.

Thank you to my coach Jamie for believing in me and opening your heart and expertise to someone you never met that day you saw my post. Thank you to Lance and his wife for what you've done for me, Farah from Syracuse Woman's Magazine and her mom for the blessing you've been, for Kellie and Joslyn for being present with me today...for pushing me and encouraging me. For redirecting my fears and anxieties. Thank you to the slew of athletes who have blessed my life with your friendships, your wisdom and resources. Bless you all for the kind hearts you have!

To the family who supports me everyday and to my friend Patti for praying with me and for talking with me when all I wanted to do was die from the heartache and pain. For standing on Gods word for our Little Bear who is our rainbow baby. To Deanna who shares a similar heartache. I can't imagine my life without you. This journey would have been SO DIFFERENT. I wouldn't have met any of these people without Gods hand over our friendship. 

Finally to the husband Doug with whom God hand-picked to be mine. Nobody would have stood the obstacles we've had together. I'm not even sure anyone would have stuck with me for the attitudes I've had. You love me. ALL of me! You are loving, thoughtful, compassionate, patient, kind, gentle, encouraging and supportive. You allow me this time so I can be who God made me to be. So I can be there for the two of you! Thank you so much!

It sounds like an award right now, I'm just on an emotional high. A year ago, I had my will typed up and thought I was heading toward death. Today I'm feeling great and facing with the things I couldn't change so that I could LIVE without fear.

May's Edition Of My Story. Check out Pages 18 & 19 Of Syracuse Woman's Magazine.

Check out my story in Syracuse Woman's Magazine!  

Photo's For April Are In! 30 lbs down.

January Start of Training & April To Date.  30lbs lost.

Front Profile. I can now fit into my Izumi Pants I bought!

Side Profile. I do believe my belly is leaving! Get outa here fat!

From this point on, I'm not going to be weighing myself anymore. I'm going to measure.  I have started weight training. Since muscle weighs more than fat, I'm DEFINITELY NOT getting on that scale for fear of sabotage!  

One thing to learn is that while muscle weighs MORE than fat, It also MELTS fat.  Momma likey! Hahaha  I'd like to get into proper nutrition for pre and post workouts but that will have to come another day.  

I am quite proud of my progress! This did NOT happen quickly folks.  It's been hard work, plant-based and if you've read any of my posts at all, comes with tears and sweat.   Hard work pays off!  If you want to lose weight or reverse disease, THIS is the way to do it. Make it work! MAKE THE TIME! 

One Swim Class Down, Onto The Next!

Finished first phase of proper swim lessons for Triathlon prep. Next session will kick it up a notch and then Wednesday night trainings. It's been such a blessing to have met so many new friends in the class. Even a fellow Iron Girl! This has been one of the best experiences of my life besides my wedding day to my best friend and the births of our two children.

Thank you everyone who made this possible and all those who've been following my journey!♥

Iron Girl, here I come!

It's Official...

I'm Registered For Iron Girl! YAY!!!

Bike Training Brought A New Workout.

What came after my hour bike training. A Monster Walk. (only my bands were lower) It burned. It REALLY burned.

My bike training was at the easiest gear straight away with no real resistance. Or was there Coach? Come to think of it, I was on a different trainer and the lowest gear didn't feel as easy as the other trainer so maybe there was "hidden" resistance I didn't know about?! Hahaha Needless to say, I felt like hurling ON the bike and doing The Monster Walk a couple times with two different bands made me feel the burn.

I didn't like either today, but afterwards I felt great and I'm quite aware of the fact that doing Monster "squats" will burn the heck out of this fat. BURN baby BURN! Get that fat off!! Get outa here FAT! lol

If your looking for me, I'll be the one crashed out on the couch icing my knees. I'm tired. I'm not sure how people do mega marathons or 70.3's. Your all pretty awesome! 

Exercising With Restrictions And Added Weight

The last thing I should ever do is google ailments. lol I left the orthopedic surgeon feeling good. I left the Physical therapist wondering if I'll need a knee replacement for Patella Alta. He made Chondramalsia sound like it was serious stuff but it's a pretty diverse word and an issue that is quite common. Especially for people who are overweight. 

We're stretching and strengthening muscles to build up my knees. While Jamie gets me ready with the pool, aqua running and biking.

Today I did a 4 mile power walk with Leslie Sansone's "Walk Away The Pounds".

If you have exercise restrictions or need to start somewhere, Leslie's 1,2,3,4 or 5 mile workouts are GREAT for rainy or wintery days. They're pretty low impact, work with all levels and create a great sweat.

I did the 4 mile just under and hour with a 20 minute stretch. I feel like I got my exercise in and I know it's burning calories. ESPECIALLY using new muscles as well as the light resistance from the bands.

I encourage you to get out there and start somewhere. Even with restrictions exercise can still be done to aid in weight loss in conjunction with a healthy diet.

More Plus Size Athletic Wear For Plus Size Athletes Please!

I walked into Walmart and left depressed and insulted. Juniors and misses all had some pretty nice workout clothes. I walked to plus size and didn't see any. I thought I'd ask the associate and she said, "I'm sorry ma'am, the biggest size we have is what's on the other side". She really did feel bad.

I decided instead of feeling like a victim, that I'd do something about it. I kindly went to the service desk and asked who I could put a complaint and suggestion to whomever the buyer of the store/s were. I in NO WAY accused the gentlemen nor did I speak to him disrespectfully. I shared that to have a workout section (nice large one at that) for one size and not even offering a few options for the plus size section is insulting. I told the gentleman that I work out 6 days a week and am training for a race. That I'd like their buyers to know that just because I am above their average size does NOT mean I do not exercise.

If you are a merchandiser or buyer of athletic apparel, could I suggest that you think about offering plus size clothes from 2XL and higher for those who desire to get healthy? I would also LOVE to see more quality sports bras in DD sizes or above for women who cannot get them in stores like Dicks, Sports Authority, etc. "If you build it, they will come".

I'd also like to share that I do not like shopping in a corner or on whole different floor from the rest of my dear friends. It make us feel like we are obsolete. If I'm at all honest, I'm sick of feeling that way! While I AM getting healthy, I don't want another plus size woman to feel as though she's worth nothing. If we want our communities to be healthy, we must provide resources to do so. It's awful hard to shop online without knowing how the fit is. Wouldn't it be great if more local stores carried sizes for women who fall to the back?!

"Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner"! 

This Weeks Workout Schedule And Menu

Workout Schedule

Monday 1 hour of training on the Bike

Tuesday 50 minutes of walk/jog on the treadmill (my knee's are screaming)

Wednesday 1 hour and 20 minutes in the pool. 30 minutes of it with low impact cardio and the rest learning proper form and breathing technique to be able to run laps.

Thursday is Aqua Jogging

Friday Bike Training

Saturday  Undecided but "I THINK" I'm going to be running with the Y-Team early that morning. It's going to be interesting since my husband and I will be on limited sleep from the night before. I'm going to suck it up and try it.

Sunday
Day Off

This Weeks Menu

Monday
BREAKFAST
Oatmeal with Flax Seed, half a sliced banana and a Tbs of local maple syrup

Pre/Post Workout
Fuel Bites before workout
energy drink during workout (with LOTS of water for hydration)
recovery pudding post workout

LUNCH
brown rice, beans, onions, green peppers, pico, LOTS of lettuce, and a little quac
Washed it down with water

DINNER
a vegetarian burger with lots of veggies and baked chips

Snack Green juice


Tuesday

BREAKFAST
smoothie loaded with kale and fruit

LUNCH
cajun tofu sandwich with mixed green salad and vinaigrette and a coconut-cherry soy milkshake.

Pre/Post Workout
Under an hour (50 mins)
energy drink (with lots of water for hydration)
recovery pudding post workout

DINNER
A BIG FAT yummy salad with romaine, mixed greens, kalamata olives, cucumbers, onions, tomatoes and edamame with organic miso dressing.

I also had a sliced beet, onion and orange salad.

LOTS of water to wash it down with.

SNACK iced tea and a banana with a teaspoon of peanut butter.



Wednesday
BREAKFAST
Water and a banana (quick and far from enough fuel sadly)

LUNCH
Moe's earmuff's burrito bowl with tofu, sauteed veggies, rice, beans, pico, medium salsa and a small scoop of guac.

DINNER
steamed mixed veggies

SNACK



Thursday

BREAKFAST
smoothie

Pre/Post Workout
energy drink during workouts (with LOTS of water for hydration)
recovery pudding post workout

LUNCH
salad

DINNER
baked zucchini and mashed sweet potatoes

SNACK
veggie sandwich and baked chips




Friday

BREAKFAST

Buckwheat pancakes with Flax Seed, peaches over top in a lightly sweetened syrup of agave nectar and a glass of almond milk

Pre/Post Workout

Fuel Bites before workout

energy drink during workout (with LOTS of water for hydration)

recovery pudding post workout

LUNCH

vegetarian soup and salad

DINNER 

vegan sloppy joe sliders with sweet potato fries and a salad

SNACK 

steamed peas on whole grain toast with a tiny bit of vegan butter (my grams favorite)

Saturday
BREAKFAST

Oatmeal with Flax Seed, half a sliced banana and a Tbs of local maple syrup

Pre/Post Workout

Fuel Bites before workout

energy drink during workout (with LOTS of water for hydration)

recovery pudding post workout

LUNCH

salad 

DINNER 

a vegan pizza of some kind.  No cheese just sauce and veggies.

SNACK 

open

Sunday
BREAKFAST
homemade blueberry pancakes with blueberry chia seed jam and vegan bacon

Lunch
Open

Dinner
Open

I'm Slowly Starting To Bloom

I had a really great swim class today! I am learning how to properly swim for a Triathlon. Technically it's a basic beginner's class which I thought I'd need some refresher's on. I'm glad I took it. The teacher was SUPER nice, "I" was the minority in the class which I love because I am able to chat with AMAZING women of different cultural and spiritual backgrounds and learn so much from them.

I met another Tri girl who new me from my CNY post and asked if I was the girl in the pictures. When I said yes, she said "I knew it!" She was SO encouraging and very sweet to chat with.

Then I enjoyed the sauna once again where I was blessed to be able to get to know the women from my class. There is nothing better than enjoying good conversation. I went from the shy one in the corner (as usual) to finally warming up and talking their heads off.

I do believe a part of me is starting to relax a little more and just enjoy conversation without being so guarded all the time. It feels good!

1 hour aqua running today. Even I'm impressed by that!

What really made me smile was my yoga instructor yelling out "pick it up!" from the sidelines.  Not only did I have the class instructor but I had someone who knows my final goal pushing me.  I went in thinking the class would be easy-going and calming but I found myself breathing hard, sweating and exhausted by class end.

I had the greatest conversation with some new friends while in the sauna too. I spent a half hour in there!  All great ladies.  I think I'm starting to come out of my shell a little bit. Feeling the water a little bit.  Scared as all getup but just pushing through it all.  I don't ever recall feeling as inadequate as I have the past 4 years.  As all this plays out, I'm learning to be proud of where I'm headed and the work I'm already accomplishing.

It's not easy to break free of the negative attitude I've had all these years. Whether it's about myself, or a disappointment I've felt, or even anger because of a disappointment.  It used to be I'd eat all those feelings and anxieties away. Now I'm starting to deal with them without food. When I actually want something, I try to make a healthier vegan option for me.


This morning's breakfast was peanut butter on toast with a banana. and 16 ounces of water.

Lunch was a GREAT BIG SALAD with 16 ounces of orange peko tea.

Dinner was baked zucchini with a side of tomato sauce

a nice tasting orange with some popcorn for another snack

Tonight I'm feeling like chocolate.  If I don't allow myself some kind of treat, I won't be very long in this healthy lifestyle. I decided to make a simple cookie out of peanut butter, pureed banana, oatmeal, vanilla (not the imitation stuff either) and mini chips.  They turned out VERY tasty! I haven't eaten them all in one sitting either.

I'm so glad that I'm noticing such positive changes! I really am looking forward to Tri'ing this year.

Love and hugs!

Latest Pics from January, Feb and March

It's working! I've lost 22 lbs, my blood sugars run between 85-100 with the lower number being the norm now. That low number is considered normal.  Evening sugars still need to go down more before I get off the pump, but fall is looking like an actual number to get off the pump.  I can see it in my face, someone even pointed out that my posture is better too. I see my skin getting looser and the weight is shifting down more.  This is an AMAZING transformation! August is coming quickly. I'm still a ball of nerves, but this is so exciting to have something to look at.

Sunday was an Aqua Run session for 45 minutes which ran into close to an hour because I had a friend with me.
Monday I walked at a fast pace for an hour (WITH my husband and daughter in tow). I managed to run around the track 2 and a half times.  It's been a couple of weeks since I've run on the treadmill because of my muscles and tendons being in such pain. I got good sneakers and am praying this will make the difference.
Tuesday 45 minutes of Aqua Run by myself.
Wednesday I'll be doing another 45 minutes of Aqua Run (maybe a back to back swim cardio class)
Thursday half hour walk on the treadmill (though I may sneak a small jog in there shshshshsh)
Friday Will be a bike training session. I keep thinking an hour but my coach predicts around an hour and 15 minutes.  Whatever the case it's going to be tough.

Saturday will be my day off.
Sunday TBA


As for my food intake. I haven't been getting enough. It took me a while to understand, but more of a little each day is better than nothing. I'd skip meals. Mostly breakfast. I wouldn't eat a whole lot even if it WAS healthy.  Our bodies just aren't fixed that way. They need fuel to keep them going. They need hydration...MORE than you think you do.  Once I got the knack of that last week, I raised my hydration up MORE and started eating more. I didn't have a headache and it didn't take me 2 hours to recover from my workouts.   I like getting to know my body.

Finally,  There are a whole lot of areas that I'm coming out of my comfort zone. I would rather HIDE than be seen in public in a bathing suit or looking like the only fat girl there. I've had to come out of that negative thought process. The only one judging me right now is ME. A negative self will not reap a positive outcome. It's why each minute of each hour of each day I take it one step at a time and focus on God as my center and allowing myself AND others a little grace.

This most certainly is a balancing act. It's not easy to balance an active toddler, housework, marriage and daily life on top of allowing myself the time it takes to get and KEEP myself healthy. It just HAS to be done though. We all MUST make time for good health and well-being. Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually.

Disappointing Workout, Something Learned, And A Great Group Of Tri Girls!

1 hour on the bike @ Bikeloft N. Disappointing workout but glad I didn't quit. Feeling like I'm going to hurl, icing knee's and found out that my legs are turning out. I nearly died laughing when my coach showed me the position. 14 years of dancing lessons have paid off...It was Plies position (though not good form). Now I need to UNlearn twisting my legs because they're hurting my knees. The harder my workouts get, the more work I see to rethink old habits and start new healthier ones. Recovery time!

I also had a great time this evening with the Tri To Train Group.  I felt so good after that informational meeting. Each of the seasoned group members talked about their experience, what let them to it and what their goals were.  I actually walked away thinking I could pull this triathlon goal off. Haha

The girls meet come spring to help each other reach their goals, pray for one another and push each other when we need it.

I really have to say that having SO MUCH support is helping me.  I am grateful for a husband who supports this endeavor as well.  Not everyone has that kind of support.  It's why groups like these REALLY come in handy for those who need encouragement that don't get it at home.  I'm lucky enough to have it here at home, in my group, in the CNY triathlete community, with my coach and SO many others.  I really hope that some way I can be of encouragement to someone else.  Just to get out there and stop living in fear!  

First Low Impact Swim Class

Hell MUST have frozen over because I was seen in a swimsuit for my very first swim class. I cannot tell you HOW scared I was to walk around in front of people in a swimsuit.

After I got through the deer in a headlight look, I got in the pool and spent an hour just stretching nice and easily for an hour with a low impact workout.  I felt great and even made friends afterwards in the sauna drying off.

It's been good to get back in the swing of things.  Last Wed. I was achey all over my body. By Thursday I had a sinus infection and my knee was hurting from the incline walk the night before. It was kind of unusual as I've done an incline walk and hadn't felt so bad.  My poor body was fighting itself. Cross between the weather, sinus infection, Ovarian Cysts which I suspected burst, and just feeling pretty darn sick.  I wrestled with MANY things over the weekend.

FINALLY I'm back in the game so-to-say. Coach asked me to wait until I was done with the z-pack to start back up.  Even then, we're treading lightly since my knee feels achey still.  We've been trying to build my leg muscles up. They are crap. I haven't really used them in YEARS, so its no surprise.

Tomorrow I have aqua running to keep me running therapeutically without putting added stress on joints and muscles.

Friday I'll be on the bike trainer.  THAT is a different sort of pain.  It's a burn.  It's also an extreme mental challenge for me. I have to get past the mental fear of not being able to finish it.  Two weeks ago I did an hour on the bike and it was EXCRUCIATING!  Last weekend I had to miss a training session thanks to the issues I was dealing with.  NOW I have to work back up again.  My hope it to get 1hr and 15 minutes in.

I also know I have to eat MORE. I've always skipped breakfast. During training days I'd eat a banana.  That is until my coach found out.  If I don't eat more, my body will find it harder to run.  It may be why last bike training I really felt awful.  We'll see how it works this week!

So far I've had oatmeal for breakfast, a Chia protein bar, we stopped at Moe's after the gym and I got a veggie bowl NO CHIPS, No cheese. Just salsa, veggies, rice and beans.     Baked Sweet Potato for dinner with a salad.

Unlimited water today and I've had 20 ounces of orange pekoe tea with lemon.

Pushing Beyond What You THINK You Can Do

This week has not gone as I had planned it. Balancing potty training (kudos to you moms & dads out there with more than 1 child), house work, exercise, and eating regularly has been really hard to me this week. Add to that, I'm feeling bloated, moody, and achey all over just gives me a feeling of wanting to curl up in bed and never get out.

I wasn't sure if I should meet up with my yoga instructor today with sinus issues and a sore throat, but both she and my coach thought it was a good idea. ESPECIALLY with the stiff and achey joints which my yoga instructor thought was combination of weather and newness to more intense workouts for me.

She came, I stretched, learned that I'm holding my breath a lot (it's what I do when I'm tense), even did a downward dog (loosely). While I still have some aches and pains in my joints, I feel a heck of a lot better than I did had I not done yoga today. I'm feeling like it's easier to breathe, and much of the tension has loosened up a little.

Tomorrow morning is hydro running in hopes it will loosen my joints and muscles a bit more. I can't help but feel a little disappointed that training hasn't gone as perfect as I wanted.

Here's the most important thing. I feel SO blessed to have a slew of people who are keeping me accountable! My sinuses and body make me feel like a Mac truck hit me. My mind is, well, moody! Not only was I unsure of exercising today, I honestly didn't feel like getting out of bed. Had my yoga instructor and coach not talked with each other and decided to kick my bum in gear, I wouldn't feel better than I did BEFORE I stretched and breathed. It is in a sense win-win when you get past what you think you CAN'T do and just do it! My body feels better for it and my mind is a tad bit clearer.

I really have to thank my coach Jamie and yoga instructor, as well as all the new friends I'm making through the Tri community. Family and friends alike whom are supporting me along the way. There really is no reason to make my goals and I feel REALLY blessed for all that I have. God is good!