Train Your Brain!

 "The space in this post won't allow me to tell you everything on my heart I have about this phrase, but I want to encourage you today--your MIND is where it all starts folks. If you just start attacking your area of struggle without first changing your heart, then allowing it to hit your head, then it's just behavior modification and will not last long.

Check it- you have to TRAIN your mind. TRAIN it. It will not just "happen". You should be ingesting TRUTH regularly so that you may be able to discern when the battle is there and then proceed accordingly. I'll list a few scriptures for you to "chew" on below...You will have a battle today for the mind. Will you take it captive to Truth or allow the enemy to plant himself there?"  Peak313 Fitness  

This fits for today. I'm struggling with something that's hard to put in the past. I get angry, I push people away, I refuse to let people in and at times, when you see a smile or hear a laugh, on the inside I feel like I'm drowning. It's a part of this process. The journey I chose to take so that I can live a more freeing life pleasing to the Lord where I can just stop trying to control things. Stop needing to know everything and stop blaming people for the sadness I hold in (a lot of that blame is toward myself).

I was perfectly happy dealing with the physical aspect of this, but try to push me out of this particular comfort zone, and you'll see a whole new side of me. 

It's not a pleasant side, in fact, the person I've become because of fear, anxiety and anger from an event I couldn't control has caused me to have a little bit of PTSD. Up until this post, there have only been a small handful of people who knew this. A husband who has supported me and put up with it because he loves me. A husband who has now been pushing me along with my coach, to get out of the box. Who also allows me the space to make that decision which will change my life not just temporarily, but for good. 

I am trying, eventually I will succeed by standing on Gods promises to give me courage. In the meantime, I'm trudging ahead like with everything else. When I'm weak, I know that in God there is strength.