Saturday, February 8, 2014

The Grief That Brought Me To The New Journey And The Family That Inadvertently Became My Own.

Oh how I weep when I hear of another mother who has lost her child. I know that grief. It is a pain that while we each go through different circumstances, becomes a similar way to cope. It is weeping and wailing through the quiet hours. An inability to remember the fuzziness of the day it happened. Though we heal and courageously move toward our children in heaven, we mask our days with smiles. We remember our children daily, hourly as the clock keeps ticking. We shed more tears, ponder who our children were and who they could have been had things been different. We grasp at the things that keep us going and try to LIVE for those who are still here. While people think our broken-hearts have fully healed, it is US who asks for Gods mercy to get through our days. The pain becomes dull but is still there deep within. Those of us who’ve lost a child (no matter the age), we become sisters.

As our broken hearts start to heal just a little, we find newfound strength that we couldn’t bare to know in those early hours that went by and by. Some of us put faith in a Greater God who was the only one to pick us up at a time we could not stand. Today we move. We just move. LIFE becomes more precious and thus, we do not take it for granted. It is why even “I” have taken on a new journey of my own. To step out of fear, grief, discomfort and choose life for those who need me most. I DO however, have these moments when I grieve WITH my sisters.

Today is one of those days. Sadly, I have MANY sisters who are on facebook & nearby physically who have felt this pain. My prayer will always be for God to strengthen them, heal their heavy spirits, wipe every tear from their eyes and build them back up again into a new kind of whole. Not one which will replace those memories or the precious ones we’ve let go. But one with which we can move FORWARD knowing they are not behind us. We’re not leaving them, but are walking toward them. Reminders that they are walking in the garden with Jesus at HOME waiting for US to finish our journey. Today, I weep with friends for our classmate and sister and for her beautiful son Jack. Tomorrow I continue to fight through my own journey which brought me here. To God be the glory! 

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