Sunday, March 23, 2014

An Eye-Opening Experience To Keep Me Moving Forward.

Friday I spent the day with my husband and daughter. I managed to catch up on some sleep and again on housework before we took Little Bear to a play area nearby.  The past two weeks haven't been the most productive with Little Bear having sleep issues and me getting "tested" in all directions.  The stress of it all didn't do justice for my immune system at all.

Luckily, every day becomes a new one and Little Bear is back to sleeping well, my infected eyes seem to be better, at least I think they are, and I'm just feeling overall happier.

Needless to say, I sat in the parent area watching Little Bear and my husband jumping and playing.  For a while there, I felt like I was once again just watching as my family played on.  One reason was I couldn't leave my purse (which I will gladly leave elsewhere next time).  I enjoyed watching our sweet girl move through different obstacles that she couldn't do the last time we were there. Milestones were made and I was watching her grow before my eyes.

As she glanced over my way, I kept thinking this is it Bek! This moment will be gone forever. Don't just sit on the sidelines. PLAY with her. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, don't fret about your big tummy or whether people will make fun of you. JUST BE PRESENT WITH LITTLE BEAR!

My husband and I switched it out and I grabbed her hand and just started running around with her, flying her from one obstacle to another to another.  I heard her laugh with me as she said, "mommy, here"!  My heart just melted.

 Soon, I switched out again from shear exhaustion only to see Little Bear circling around hollering, Mommy!  Mommy!

I'll tell you, it pulled on my heart-strings and reminded me of why I keep on moving forward. There are days I get SO FRUSTRATED I just want to give up.  The past 2 weeks have been hard on me and had me questioning if I could manage to work everything in.  In the end, if I manage to get into a triathlon, it will be a moment of pride that I managed to push through everything in order to get to.  A place where I'll jump for joy because through God I was able to reach a goal or goals that will have saved my life and helped me to incorporate a healthy lifestyle with my family.

In the end though, I've already managed to lose 24 lbs now, I'm starting to FEEL better, I've overcome  some pretty heavy obstacles in my way and have managed to start BECOMING a part of my husband and daughters life. Not just watching them AND my life pass me by.

Whatever happens, I'm not going to worry about the things I cannot control. What I AM planning to do  is live my life RIGHT NOW where I am.  I'm loving ME right now where I'm at and I'm allowing myself to find joy right here with my family.

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