Sunday, March 16, 2014


I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I needed to jot it down somewhere so I'll know what to do, what to look for when this arrises again. Poor Little Bear has been going through something at night and it's left us all with an inability to sleep. I'm not running on much. I'm coming off a 6 day workout though I DID miss 2 days of biking It's still more than I've ever done before.

The car is in shambles and we managed to add new break pads, rotars, spark plugs and wires, a new air filter, scheduled oil change AND yet we still manage to have a stupid light go off that we need more work. 4 lights to be exact! One we already replaced at a pretty expensive place this past fall. I want my money back! lol  I laugh, yet I'm pretty tired, pissy and my body is starting to show. I'm having heart palpitations and am stressed to the max trying to balance everything. I'm over-emotional from last weeks issues and with limited sleep things are just more intense.

Oh how I'd LOVE a Disney vacation with my husband and daughter where there are no distractions and we could just get a darn break for a change.  How many other people are thinking the same thing right?!  Plus, there are people who are doing a heck of a lot more who are working it out.  Why am I seeming to have an issue with balancing it all?

I managed to get yesterdays workout in at my parents and it left me feeling redeemed from the weeks dramatic events.

Today?  I'm just tired. I look at the week ahead with schedules to follow, housework to get done, appointments to make, training to get done and somehow trying to get in healthy eating. It's almost 2 am and I seemed to make roasted asparagus, roasted cauliflower, LOTS of mashed sweet potatoes for soups and regular meals. I have whole grain NAAN bread ready for a plant based pizza I plan to make, greens for smoothies, some extra Kale for sauteeing with onions and garlic and hopefully some energy bars and pudding for "when" I actually manage to DO those hour workouts.

Right now, I'm shaky, feel like my heart is running a mile a minute, I need some "ME" time with a good book and a flash light so I can take myself to another world where I don't have to think about broken down cars, weight loss, dishes, daily life etc. etc. etc.  I need to stop my mind from working overtime so I can regroup and just move forward.

I asked my coach if I could tone it down a notch this week with workout schedule. At least until Little Bear calms down. She needs me and we need to get whatever is bugging her under control so we all can manage to sleep again.  She seems to have fun during the day but at night, she's not content until she's attached to one of us. She's brought herself to vomiting. That's just too traumatic for a little toddler to go through and is horrifying for us as well.

If anyone is reading this at all, would you keep me in your thoughts and prayers please? I just need to get through each day as it comes and move forward.

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